… Sort of a Regular Day


THURSDAY

DAY OF WORK & REFLECTION

Today was a regular work day for me.  In the quiet moments it is hard not to think about immediate decisions.  I find myself not focusing in on the cancer itself, but more what to do about it.  I’m between a rock and a hard spot – “Pre-Op Chemo with Breast Reduction” and “Immediate Double Mastectomy with Breast Reconstruction and No Chemo”.

Choices?  HER2 Positive Breast Cancer is so fast growing that it has already found resting places in other parts of my body?  If so, Chemo is about my only sensible option.  I’m so predisposed to homeopathic remedies, yet these are not scientifically tested within control groups for the different types of cancer.  Reports of success with cancer in general are anecdotal, but many are first hand accounts from trusted family and friends.  Do I have faith in anecdotal reports wherein the patient isn’t me; that is, they didn’t have HER2 Positive Stage 2 Cancer?  I certainly know factual outcomes I have personally witnessed with chemo – outcomes that have complications and those that are life preserving?  As for the major surgery choice, I have watched dear friends die from cellulitis gone bad and even closer to home my husband recently struggle to beat it back.  Many of his K-T companions struggle mightily with it, spending days in the hospital and months at home fighting battle after battle with it.

No simple answers here.

Tomorrow, I get a deeper lesson in the specific drug protocol that Dr. Smith is recommending.  I will sleep on it tonight and hope that clarity comes in the morning.

**********

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